The Blessing of Defeat

     

You should never cry in the blistering sun; save that for the cool of the shadows. I saw my daughter welling up with tears and knew it was time to move to the shade. You see, a summer worth of work had ended in a flash of empty handedness and she was crushed. But this isn't really a story about a 10 year old dancer being sad; it is a story about resiliency and determination. It is a story about my Hannah.

We are notoriously late. Friends tease me about it; seems it is my birthright to be fashionably late. This works for casual soirées and coffee dates after work...not so much for church, school or dance competitions. The competition was her goal all summer and now mere days from the start of school it was here, and we were behind schedule. So much so that I agreed to meet my family a short while later to be sure we could get Hannah registered in time for her first dance. In Sean's attempt to help me he grabbed my purse for me and took it with him. In Hannah's attempt to help me she had loaded lots of my usual items in said purse; including my car keys. Sean drove off with kids, and purse, in tow and off went my keys and my only way to get to them. 

Now comes the question, do you turn around for me or head off for Hannah? We chose Hannah. I stand by the decision because it taught her that when push comes to shove in our lives, her needs matter enough to trump someone else's-even mine. That was blessing number one to come from this day filled to the tippy top with frustration.

I found the next blessing in an unexpected place. I found that even now, as a fully grown woman, sometimes the one person who can fix the problem is your mom. Ironic though, considering it was my role as a mom that I was grappling with. My mother came and picked me up after offering to drive me the hour to get to the games. I'm not sure what her plans were for the day as I think I was too wrapped up in my own world to ask, but she silently forfeited them to my need to make good on motherhood.

 

Blessing three happened when I made it to the dance field two brief sets before Hannah's fifth and final dance. I had hated myself for missing the first four with the bright red hate that only a mother who has let her children down can know. As we drove in, knowing I had just barely made it in time for that last dance was like salve on a burn. 

Now for clarity's sake, Hannah was sure all this was her fault, as every 10 year old would be. I had told her otherwise on the phone during a botched encouragement speech, her dad had told her this as well but she would hear none of it. The weight of the day pressed on her and her dances showed it. My skilled dancer turned into a girl with the world on her shoulders, and that weight makes it very difficult to perform the Highland Fling. Competition is tough at Highland Games, and very little communication is offered on where you did well and where to improve. You never know your score, just the placement of the top four dancers-of which Hannah was not a part. This was her crushing blow. Numbers flew through the air as they called girls up for medals; '176'-Hannah's number-was never called.

She took it on the chin and just watched as medals were presented to girl after girl but I saw her shrink; more shrivel, really. It was then we headed for shade so the tears could flow. Hiding behind a judges tent she let herself fall apart. I apologized for the ridiculousness of the start of the day and told her I imagined that is what threw her off her dances, coupled with the nerves of her first ever competition. She agreed. 

While I held her in that shade, blessing four was out of my mouth faster than I had the chance to think about it. I told Hannah I was proud of her, not for medals, but for trying. Proud of her because when the going gets tough so many of us, myself included on many occasions, give up trying. I told her that when you are nearing the end of being in labour with a baby, you want to give up because it is hard...but you must keep on trying. I told her that when you are out of money you can't give up, you have to keep on working to get your needs and the needs of those relying on you met....and I told her that when you feel like a failure as a mother because you missed most of your daughter's dance competition you have to keep on trying to be a good mom-the mom your kids deserve. I also told her when I was her age, I would have quit, and the fact that she didn't told me more about her than a trophy for dancing ever would have. I knew none of this would take the sting of defeat away, but it might ease it for her...and for me. 

The blessings were rolling in hard and fast now; blessing five...Meghan looked up at her and said,' I'm proud of you Hannah...you're the best sister ever and a great dancer. You are a winner to me.' I was speechless. Blessing six, my brave girl got up on the stage for the massed fling and with tear stained cheeks danced her heart out for me, so I would get the chance to see her up there; and she nailed it. Now it was my cheeks that were tear stained.

The last blessing, was watching her eyes light up as her daddy hung a silver Celtic heart around her neck; her medal from him. Not for the best Fling, or Sword or Flora but for being the best Hannah she could be. For just being her and with the silent promise that that was effectively enough to be medal worthy in his eyes. One of the few opportunities in life when we are told we are enough and for that moment we believe it. 

This was not the day I had expected when I woke up, but the important ones seldom are. The blessings cloaked in hurt and frustration had made their way to us all and when it was said and done I was madly in love and bloody well exhausted. Hannah, always try. You will not be successful every time, but you will never win if you never try. And see the blessings in the moments where you miss the mark...they always mean the most and last the longest. 

<3

                                 

 

My Story is on My Skin

I have freckles that appear on my skin when I am out in the sun. This is who I am; because my mother has the same skin, so did my grandmother and I can only image her mother did as well. My story is on my skin. I am a culmination of all these women. I am the result of their years of joy and heartache and I share their story; on my skin.

I have a bumpy pale scar on my left knee and a twist of skin on my right wrist; all war wounds from a youth well played. When I am a shrivelled up old woman I will still have physical proof that I rode my bike down the gargantuan gravel hill and made it...most of the way. I will still have proof that the wind whipped through my hair and sun shone on my back. I will be able to tell a small child that it is, in fact, a bad idea to stand on the back of someone’s skis when they are headed downhill. This was a lesson I learned at Smuggler’s Notch Vermont on a high school ski trip, that my wrist now reminds me daily. I don’t recall it hurting all that much when it happened but the scar remains as my skin tells my story. 

My ring finger on my left hand has a light tan line, regardless of the time of year. We couldn’t afford an engagement ring when we got married so I used my grandmother's and wore a silver band purchased at a Highland Games in Fergus, Ontario. Only 10 years later as we renewed our vows did I get my own wedding set. It never mattered what rings were on my finger, it left the same mark. My heart has known all along that I was his regardless of how much we had and what we could afford; my skin tells that story as well. My whole being is married to him and we share a new story each and every day.

I had smooth skin all over my abdomen 11 years ago; but after that my skin; and my story would be forever changed.  Christmas Eve of 2002 I held my little baby in my arms for the first time and through bleary exhaustion and fading pain I knew I was a new creature. I was a mother. My soul knew it but my skin would tell that story for the rest of my life. My badge of honour for the hours spent labouring a child I would die for to her first breath of life.

My skin story is so much a part of me I couldn’t be without it. I wear it every day and though some days I think I am falling apart; my story keeps me together. There will be many more scars and marks my story will share with my skin before the day I will just be a story. I choose to love each and everyone because they are mine, they are me.

But I Did

I could hear the gravel crunching beneath my feet and the far off whistle of a train charging down the tracks. I could hear the chorus of a million crickets in the grass as a gentle breeze blew. I could hear the mourning dove and the bark of a lonely dog. These were the sounds that filled my ears on a walk I didn't want to take; but I did. 

I didn't want to go to the hall for this reason today today; didn't want to don my fire department uniform or turn my phone off. None of us wanted to; but we did.

I didn't want to make idle chit chat with folks I see only once or twice a year. I didn't want to awkwardly drink sweet juice or eat a brown sugar topped square. I didn't want to sit in a line in a quiet corner and not know what to say. But I did. 

I didn't want to see the puffy eyes of a young lady I have known since before she was in kindergarten. I didn't want to see the stoic face of a brother-less boy from my daughter's class. I didn't want to struggle to know what to say to a mother who has lost her first born or see the oceans of ache in a father's eyes; but I did. 

I didn't want to see my community try to keep it together in the face of something that we never believed would actually happen, but it did. 

I didn't think it would hurt that much when it was so crucial; to see it, to feel it, to be surrounded by it. But it did.

I didn't want my daughter to wonder how a boy she knew could be gone. I didn't want to feel so selfish when I held her tight as she let hot tears roll down her cheeks. But I did. 

Your life was so short but now is the time to rest and be at peace. David, you touched me more than you could know, because I didn't think I could learn how to be faithful, brave and real from a child. But I did. 

Thank you for Being a Friend

Ok, so who among you is now humming the Golden Girls theme song? Just me? Oh well...

I have been blessed to share my life with some amazing people. Family, friends, friends so close they should be family, a few people I couldn't stand but they taught me a lot...either way, each a blessing. Their influence has been far reaching and long lasting. 

Tonight I found out that one of my dearest friends, who like many people that I love sadly I have lost touch with, is going to be available for a visit this month coming up.  I don't really know why Kate and I lost touch, but we did; probably my stubbornness and pride...it is usually the culprit. She stood up for me when I got married, was the first friend I shared the news that I was going to be a mom with, and the first friend I called to tell Hannah had arrived. We met in university and became fast friends. She got me on a level no one else did, and loved me even still. We shared lots of honesty...even the hard kind. She moved to California not long after Meg was born, but held my hand thought the first few tough weeks of being a mom of two. 

I can't say that I held her hand when she needed it most. In fact I think I did the opposite, I was so wrapped up in my own life. My actions, or paralysis of action is on my list of requested do-overs. I wish there was a way to get back the last 7 years of being too ashamed to call or email; but there isn't. There is right now though. Right now I am amazed she still wants to see me. Right now I am so relieved that she has a braver sprit than I do. Right now I am wishing my house was cleaner, my clothing size was smaller and my face was younger but, right now, despite all that, I am burstingly happy because right now I remember what real friendship looks like. Thank you Kate, I can't wait to see you.

Kate isn't the only great friend I went MIA on; there have been others. I think when my insecurities get a hold of me I doubt myself so deeply that I doubt those that love me. It isn't fair and it isn't right but it has been serial behaviour for me. For some reason I can convince myself that I am not worth loving and as such walk away from them before they have a chance to walk away from me. Seems ridiculous right? The preemptive breakup with the quality of friend that wouldn't leave you when you are down. Now that said, had any of them called me and said they needed me, I would have moved heaven and earth to help them. honestly though, I gave them no reason to believe I would come through on the big stuff when I couldn't even return a phone call.

Jennifer and I are 5 days apart. We took great pride in being each others first friends. We both grew up in the same hole-in-the-wall hamlet in southern Ontario and were the kind of young friends that would hide when a parent came to pick us up, like if they couldn't find us we wouldn't have to part. At 8 years old she moved and it was the beginning of the end. We got back in touch in high school, and it was great for a long time, but I always felt like I wasn't in the same league as her. She was a natural at being...everything. She was great at being intensely happy and great at being intensely sad. She loved with a full heart and I knew she loved me. But I could never figure out why and so we had this unwritten competition. Where I would subconsciously try and keep up with her and I often felt she would then push to keep up with me. I didn't go to her wedding, cause I was mad she didn't ask me to be in it, so juvenile, right? Here's the kicker...I hadn't asked her to stand up for me, so what did I expect? I don't really know, but when I didn't get it I bailed on her special day...and lost a dear friend.

I walked away from Kathy back in her first year of college. She and I had been inseparable our whole childhoods. Her parents had been like surrogates to me and I could find my way around her house in the dark like it was my own. She sat beside me while I dealt with my dad's passing. She and I shared every adolescent high and low out there. She was as close to a sister as I have ever or likely will ever know. Now Kathy was athletic, beautiful, funny and far better adjusted than I was, but for some reason she still loved me. In true sister style, I never felt like I measured up. The dumb thing, that would occur to me too late into my disappearing act, was to her I did measure up. To her I was enough. It was all in my head that I faltered. Now I see her on Facebook. Her beautiful family, her life which looks like I would have wished for her. Her smiling kids are like a snapshot of the face I grew up with and I love it. I hope that over time we can find a new ground with a full history. For that I must be the brave one though. For that I can't wait and hope that something else will bring her back to me; I will have to swallow that pride and say what is on my mind....I'm sorry and...

Thank you for being a friend 

Traveled down the road and back again 

Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidant. 

And if you threw a party 

Invited everyone you knew 

You would see the biggest gift would be from me 

And the card attached would say thank you for being a friend.

There now you're ALL humming the Golden Girls... 😉

A Cacophony of Joy

I sit here drenched in the solid sun of a Prairie afternoon, though the Ontario girl in me chose a home littered with trees. The gloriously tall poplar trees that sound like the rustling of my grandmother's yard, give home to a multitude of birds and kiss the summer goodbye with a golden glow. That is the sound that fills my ears today in this exquisite sun. Perfect right? There is one key element still needed in this mix. One I would have missed even a decade ago. The sound of giggling. Full on, wildly joyous laughter. The sound of silliness. This is the sound of the invention of new worlds and the creation of memories. The sound of kids at work. This is the sound of childhood.

Today I am blessed enough to have that laughter surround me. My three children are playing like mad with some friends of theirs; the children of some of our best friends. It is wonderful to watch them plot and plan the best fort, giggle at each others silly faces and laugh their way through the sunny afternoon. 

This was posted by an old friend on Facebook this week and it got me thinking of how many wonderful memories I have from the children of my childhood. Many were from my neighbourhood, but I also went to school in another community so there were also many from school. I am crummy at staying in touch with people...and I hate that part of me. In fact it was another resolution of this year; to tell people I am thinking of them and how much I love them as I think it...not after it is too late. I miss so many of the unique people I was lucky enough to be surrounded by and the sounds in my yard now remind me of afternoons of my own childhood and the many adventures we enjoyed. We as parents often crave a few moments of silence, but today I am revelling in the boisterously beautiful noise. So with out further ado, here is my list of some wonderful JOY sounds. 

A new baby's cry

Three times in my life I have heard the first utterance of a human being's life. That very first cry out to the world saying 'at long last I am here' is like no other sound and one that has been written on my soul in indelible ink. Many of the cries a baby makes in its early years can be exasperating but that first one...is precious.

A purring cat

I had the best cat ever growing up; her name was Sweet-pea. She was a tiny cat with a big heart and an even bigger purr. Each night she slept with me and the sound of her purring was the most simple and joyful lullaby. Knowing she was as at peace with me as I was with her was purr-fection....

The sound of a child praying 

I have a hard time praying sometimes, because I get caught up in the words. Grownups worry about what words they should say to the Divine, not wanting to say the wrong thing; but not kids. Kids just say whatever is on their hearts and that is the epitome of unabashed praying. That is what God wants and what I let my pride get in the way of. That is real respect for the Divine...that is joyful love.

The sound of the orchestra warming up before a show

I attended a lot of theatre as a child, it was one of my favourite things. Musicals, opera, ballet, performance theatre... I loved it all and it all started with the orchestral warm up. The orchestra pit would come to life and a special electricity would fill the room. I remember saying to my Godmother (one of my favourite people in the world) that I knew the song they were playing; feeling quite pleased with how cultured I was...it was a number of years before I understood why she dissolved in laughter. Of course it was just the warm up but it was a sound I knew and loved...and was totally charged with joy for me.

That perfect song that allows you to time travel

Some songs are veritable DeLoreans. I can be in the parking lot of my high school everytime I hear 'Killing Me Softly' by the Fugees. I can be  back at camp every time I hear 'Father and Son' by Cat Stevens or 'Hello Again' by Neil Diamond. I can be driving with my mom when I hear 'Prisoner of Love' by Perry Como or snuggled on my Uncle Doug's lap every time I hear 'Pussy Willows Cattails' by Gordon Lightfoot; and I love going back to all these places for a re-visit. There are many more songs that allow a trip back, though not every place is a pleasant memory. Either way-even the sad ones are precious to me and I find an odd joy in every last one.

The song from the original Super Mario Bros 

I was never lucky enough to have an NES, but my bestie Kathy had one. We spent hours sitting in her basement playing in the dark with the most comfortable corduroy pillows ever. That sound...come on...you know the song I mean...dum, dum, dum, da, dum, da, dum...da, da, da, dum, da, dum, dum, da, dum, dum....sorry got caught up. Anyhow, that song sounds like time with her. It sounds like a challenge...it sounds like my whole generation. I never did rescue the princess...but it is still a bucket list item.

Thunder

I adore a big thunder storm. I love the flashes of light and the house shaking booms. It is loud as can be and nothing is better as far as sounds to fall asleep to. A good snuggle from my husband during a thunderstorm and truth be told there isn't much more I could ask for in life.

These are just a few things I love to hear...among many. What are your most joyous sounds? What noisy love do you crave in your life? 

❤ Cat

Refining My Brokenness

So one of my resolutions this year was to write more, or at least again. I have always healed, laughed and lived through my writing but for some reason over the last few years I have stopped baring my soul through pen and ink. It is a little like deciding to stop breathing to a writer, but I am deciding to take a deep breath again. I am deciding to write again. so I know who I am. So my kids will know who I was. So I can find out who I am becoming.

I am going to start by trying out Lisa-Jo Baker's Five Minute Friday. The plan is you write for 5 minutes on a particular topic provided by her each Friday, (no editing or re-writes...just unadulterated writing) today's prompt was BROKEN....so here goes...

BROKEN:

I grew up believing I was broken. I was broken cause I didn't have my dad. That if he was here I would experience an insta-fix. i guess that is why I wanted to have someone in my life always...never wanted to be alone. I figured that somehow a man would come into my life and fix me…’cause that is what men do isn’t it? I grew up believing that to be broken because you didn't have a dad or man was something you needed to be ashamed of and hide. You hide you're hurt. I’m not even really sure who taught me that lesson; but I knew it as surely as I knew I was broken.

Now many more moons than I would have liked have passed…and let’s be honest I’m still a little broken. I’m still a little convinced that I should be hiding it. The difference is that now I am sure that I am not the only one experiencing waves of brokenness. I am certain that we are all in our own way and in our own time breaking, repairing… breaking and repairing, refining ourselves like shining silver.

That man I dreamed of did come into my life. I am certain that the most honourable thing that my husband has done for me though is to sit beside me while I cry over my brokenness realizing I am not alone. He has watched me, encouraged me, cheered for me, covered for me and sheltered me while I fixed myself. He has never ‘fixed’ me; he has just loved me through my brokenness… despite my brokenness… sometimes because of my brokenness.

I don’t always love the realization that I am, in fact, broken at times. But I love the strength that comes from the refiner’s fire as the brokenness, my imperfections are burned off.

I Have a blog? Ooh! I should update it!!!

So at long last...I'm updating my blog...(get off my back Kim :) ).
I just got the new digital scrapbooking program from Stampin' Up-My Digital Studio and could hardly stand waiting to try it out.
It is so unbelievably easy to use as well as filled with a ton of options. Needless to say I am very happy with it. These are the first few pages I have pumped out.

Loving the freedom to try stuff with no mess, waste or concerns...love it!

TFL
Cat

The things we do for friends...especially the good ones

So...I have a friend (who will remain nameless) who has had a rough week. Let's say for conversation sake she hurt her back, is at home with her two kids and was expected to take wedding pictures for her sister's wedding this weekend. All that of course, is purely hypothetical. Trying to be a good friend I made a wedding card for said wedding for her...and she forgot to come get it. Now hypothetically speaking if this story were true...the card above is what you missed out on...hope you had a good wedding and feel better Kim...I mean hypothetical friend :)

Sneak Peak...

'Cause everyone is as excited as I am about my little group (coincidentally of my friends) that I lead as a stampin' Up demonstrator I thought I would share a sneak peek of what we will be working on at our August meeting. This group has been super fun to work with and has been the best ever introduction into being a demonstrator.

I decided that to ensure everyone is getting their moneys worth out of the stamps and supplies they purchase we would do both a card and a project which shows the versatility of the crafting style. Also it is a great way to make gifts for people or stock pile some last minute hostess gifts or thank yous.

Above is the peek at August's project and card and at the end you will see what we worked on for June and July. It is driving me nuts having to wait a month between meeting with everyone...I just want to do all of our cool stuff right away!

AUGUST

JULY

JUNE

Hope everyone likes the projects...and for some crazy reason if you are not one of the stamping group and you happen along my blog and would like details on any of the projects feel free to leave a comment...If you are part of the group remember what your mom taught you..."If you don't have some thing nice to say..." JUST KIDDING!

Thanks for looking!

P.S. Not in quite so far over my head these days...it has been a nice change :) Thanks a ton to all my awesome friends...had a great BBQ on Friday and I'm grateful to be at a place in life where I can laugh at the losers on 'Dating in the Dark'! ;)

Cheers All!

in over my head

Hello there world wide web. I am here to break a nasty little conspiracy of women...for any men reading ...I don't know...go close your eyes or go find something testosterone based to do... Here goes...

Ahem, my name is Catherine and I am in over my head...
There I said it...

I hate saying it. I hate knowing it even more. but there it is folks, I am in over my head. From bills to kids, messes to 'should do's', I am in over my head. I want to have it all together, and I am the first to recognize some days I do, but not today (or this week for that matter). As women we flaunt our ability to do it all. Picture the mother stirring a pot on the stove, talking on the phone while holding a baby in her arms and if she could juggle for a circus she would. That is the ideal we are all expected to live up to, or I suppose I expect myself to live up to. I have a busy schedule, and three kids but somehow when the laundry is undone I am ashamed of myself. So ashamed in fact that in paralyses me into inaction. I want to breeze through life like we are all trying to do but this week I am stuck. Stuck by work, commitments, kids, LAUNDRY(!!!) and so on.

I think the hardest part this week is that I want so desperately to be a good mom, not just good but the best that I can be... and I feel like I am missing something. This is based on the frustrations my husband and I are currently facing with our two oldest little darlings.

Does anyone out there have any feedback on what makes your day work? Anyone got a clue about how to keep the motherhood/wife hood/womanhood show on the road? I don't know maybe this is really only about me and my challenging week, but it seems like in the dark corners of all of our conversations there is a secret acknowledgement that none of this is as easy as we thought it would be when the husbands were members of a boy band we dreamt about and the babies were dolls that ended up being left out in the rain.

I am open to any and all suggestions, ideas, critiques or thoughts...PLEASE HELP!!!

Howdy from Banff

I know Kimberly...it has been too long since I posted on my blog...but I finally had something I really couldn't resist sharing with you all...all like 3 of you but really who is counting. Anyhow we have been enjoying a week in Banff with my mom, the kids and myself...waiting patiently for Sean too...and just wanted to let you see what we have been up to.

We have had the chance to explore, swim, head up the gondola to Sulpher Mountain, check out some wild life and of course...this afternoon was makeover time...what girls trip is complete without that?

Our weather has been pretty rainy, but nothing compares to a Rocky Mountain thunderstorm...WOW! Trip has gone smoothly so far and I have only threatened to leave someone on the side of the road a few times...and in my defense I have never followed through!

Hope everyone at home is well and Sean; we MISS you SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much. Can't wait for you to get here!

Lotsa love,

Catherine, Hannah, Meg & Kane

A year has come and gone...

First day Of Grade 1!

As a child a year of school was interminable and I am finding as an adult, that year is gone before it even feels like it started. Today was Hannah's last day of Grade 1; the beginning of her first ever real summer holidays. Kindergarten didn't really count as it was only twice a week... That is what she said anyways. By chance she wore the same shirt today that she wore on her first day of school so I couldn't resist the before and after shot. I have officially become that mom...and I love it!

I will be the first to admit that Hannah can be a challenging little person. This year has confirmed for me that if nothing else! My apologies to her teachers... This year has confirmed many other things for me as well. So here are 10 randoms on what I have learned about Hannah and school this year.

1. She might be the poster child for ADHD...wanna ride bikes?

2. She is a social butterfly, just like her mother was. She knows all the kids names in just about every grade, she knows who everyone is related to and can strike up a conversation with any of them.

3. She loves people a lot. Every teacher has told me if they feel a little person hugging

them...they then know Hannah is out and about because it is almost always her hugging them. I love that our teachers in our small town school can hug her back.

4. She has a great sense of humour. Lots of the stories I have heard about her involve her and her funny antics. She loves to make people laugh!

5. Watching her go from learning a few sight words to snuggled in bed reading a chapter book may have been one of my favourite progressions ever...even better than the crawling to walking (and she gets into less stuff now!)

6. I have to really be commited to her daily school routine. Helping with spelling tests means successful spelling tests...She is needing that support at home if she wants to be successful...and it is really special time to be with her.

7. They learn a lot in school and my daughter (like everyones kids I'm sure...) is a sponge. She can talk urban vs. rural and herbivore vs. carnivore...very cool!

8. Hannah has some really awesome friends. It encourages me to think that she is a good friend back. Learning lessons like apologising if you were rude, standing up for what is right, and caring for those you love are lessons that will serve her for the rest of her life.

9. My daughter has the weirdest sense of what is good...like leaving your socks in your desks for weeks on end...or creating a pencil lead collection...um...yeah...

10. School can be/is fun. She is super excited to be on summer vacation this year since we have a lot of fun stuff planned but she can hardly wait to be in Grade 2. That tells me that school is fun...or Hannah would be praying..."anywhere but here...anywhere but here"

Last Day Of Grade 1!

My new toy...

I totally fell in love with photography when I worked at the paper. Before then I had enjoyed it but to find a new angle...a new image for an annual event...that takes love. I count that as one of the huge blessings of having worked at the Advocate for so long.

Anyways...when Kim upgraded her camera to a new body and was looking to sell her old digital SLR I jumped at the chance. When I was young, my mom took beautiful photos and had a variety of lenses for her camera and with a very inexpensive adapter...I am now photographing her grandkids with the same lenses. Admittedly, it will take a while to get used to putting a bit more work into each photograph but I am hoping with some dedication and imagination it will be worth it!

Great kids!

Just had to share this picture...all three are smiling...I was starting to think that would never happen! In honour of a full sibling smile I will do my randoms on the great things about having kids...admittedly these are the great things about my kids...yours are great too, um...I'm sure.

1. No more than 10 seconds after a screaming fight with each other they are willing to defend each other. Doesn't matter how they were going to sell their sibling to travelling gypsies moments ago...they always have each other's back.

2. How positively angelic do they look when they are asleep?

3. The look on their little faces when you tell someone how good they were at something. Not only are you proud of them...you are proud enough to tell someone else!

4. While occasionally they repeat the words you wish they hadn't heard, once in a while they say the right things...Meg and Lily were playing the other day and when Lily fell Meg was right in there,"Oh sweetie!, Are you OK? It's alright now...up we go..." Damn, it was cute.

5. When they are sick you become superhuman. In true Jasper Cullen style, just being in the room with you makes them feel better.

6. You are a veritable font of information to your children. No one in this world...or their right minds...think I am half as smart as my kids think I am.

7. The unlimited access to the super-soft-baby-cheek as they drift to sleep in your arms.

8. The purest form of humour is the innocent humour of children. They have no idea how funny they are. If they knew it wouldn't be half as funny!

9. Hannah is a defender of justice and any time I see her rooting for the underdog, standing up for the little guy or ensuring the play is fair my buttons burst with pride. It gives me a bit of confidence that we haven't done a half bad job ;)

10. Ironically, my children each in their own way--without knowing it-- have healed my wounds, kissed me better when I was down, told me they loved me more than anything else...and meant it, made me laugh harder than anything else, made me cry with joy, and made me into a woman I never dreamed I would be...for that and a million other reasons...I absolutely love my kids!

It's almost graduation day!

So for the last few years I have been involved in organizing our community's Kindergarten grad. It is a night of pint-sized pomp and circumstance and is always super cute! Last year, being Hannah's year, I made a video yearbook for all the kids and was asked to do the same thing this year. it is so fun to watch the parents and kids review the year and is always filled with lots of laughter and a few tears... proud mamas usually...yes, I cried at my own video last year...shut up!

I made personalized DVD cases for the kids both years but didn't think to take a picture of all of them last year so...here is this year's group. was super fast and fun to make them. Congrats to all Champion's little graduates!!!

Totally Bodacious Day!!!...God, I loved the 80's

'Cause our kids don't think we are old enough...they have 80's day at school. While I'm sure the kids have fun (Hannah was grinning from ear to ear) it just reinforces that we are ancient..."You were really alive in the 80's? WOW you're older than I thought!"...yes she actually said that to me this morning. So, that being said how much fun is it to vicariously relive the 80's through your child? A lot!..No guff!

With all things 80's in my heart...(read-banana clips, Vaurnet, hyper colour and 'the Coreys') I proceeded to make over my daughter. I think the result was great and she was just happy she got to wear lipstick and eyeshadow to school. Anyhow I have now pulled out the retro 80's genre on my list of music and am currently swooning to Please Don't Go Girl from New Kids On The Block...(when they were kids) and can't wait for the Bangles which are comin' up next! In honour of this most special of days I have 10 randoms of why the 80's rocked!

1. Bigger was better. Trying to explain that to Hannah this morning was a bit tough. "Why did you want to have the biggest hair, the biggest hat, the biggest satin bow, the biggest bag Mom?" Well...Cause that was the 80's.

2. Teen Mags were the next best thing to Playgirl for kids. We all drooled all over the pin-ups...Ralph Macchio, John Stamos, Corey Haim, Corey Feldman, The NKOTB, River Phoenix, Patrick Dempsey...before he was McDreamy...


3. Happy endings. Everything in the 80's still had a happy ending. The girl got the boy, or viceversa where applicable. The dork usually got friends or laid depending on the movie (Long Duck Dong and the exchange student anyone?) The jerk at the beginning found that true love needed him to be nicer and the hot cheerleader usually ended up filthy and screaming. There was a balance in nature and the good guys always won! Like any of us wouldn't melt if the crowd cleared and the resident hottie was sitting on the roof of his car waiting just for us!

4. Tom Cruise was still hot...and not crazy yet. He was, come on admit it. Think Risky Business in his little tighty whitey's? He was hot. Top Gun? I don't need to say any more.

5. We had a knack for shortening company names to somehow make them our own...and those names for me have stuck. They were Cons not Converse, Docs not Doc Martens and so on.

6. Hammer pants. I had them...you had them...none of us should have. They were wrong even for the 80's.

7. What we were sure musically was cutting edge and rough, is tame by today's standards. If you want proof of this, listen to a song or two from Billy Idol. Madonna was as risque as it got and Paula Abdul in her short skirts got people talking. My mother was disapproving of this stuff then...I don't know how she is still managing to breathe these days...Love you, Mom...

8. Jamaica put the infamous bobsled team in the Calgary Olympics a la Cool Runnings. Anything was possible in the 80's. We all felt it and I think it changed the way we would live our lives out.

9. Video Games took over the brains of the youth turning most of us to mush. What started as something like Pong, turned into Pac Man, turned into today's Wii. I still have never rescued the Princess from the original Mario Bros. for the NES. Sean says he could do it in about 10 minutes...show off.

10. TV was as addictive as ever. Like you couldn't settle in with a pint of Ben and Jerry's Funky Monkey ice cream and watch a solid night of 80's TV... Family Ties, Facts of Life, Growing Pains, Silver Spoons, Punky Brewster, A-Team, Knight Rider, ALF, Cosby Show, Night Court, Cheers, Smurfs, He-man and the Masters of the Universe, Care Bears, Oh...I could go on forever...

So that's it...I thought long and hard about how to sign of...decided this would do the trick.

"Sit Ubu, Sit!

Good Dog!"

"Woof"

What a weekend!

Well, we are home safe and sound from our whirlwind trip to Edmonton. I must say, it was great to see all the members of Sean's family and to have some time on the road to just chat with my beloved husband...OK so I've said all that for the record right?

AHHH! this was a bit of a frustrating weekend starting with...wait for it...my middle child puking in my hands during a beautiful video of the actual wedding ceremony in Columbia. Yeah that's right, right in my hand. I was holding Kane on my lap and her supper in the other...yay parenting! I don't think she could have picked a quieter moment, at least the attention of all those in attendance was on something else.

Sean tells me only a few people noticed and while I much prefer this theory, I'm not sold on it. So that put an abrupt end to my time at the wedding. Washed up Meg, packed up Kane and away we went for a solid night of Backyardigans. Not what I had in mind. Super glad I stressed about my dress too!

Anyhow Hannah and Sean stayed and it sounds like Hannah had the time of her life which is definitely consolation to my crummy night. She came in the door of our hotel with Sean at 12:30a.m. and was so excited to tell me this was the latest she has ever been awake..."I stayed up until it wasn't even yesterday, Mom...isn't that amazing!!"

She had been on the dance floor all night, conga-ing until the cows came home (that is the bride, Sean's cousin Kathryn...yup, Kathryn Pooley... in front of her in the picture). She got to take salsa lessons with Aaron and boogied with the big kids all night long. She now has memories of dancing with her Great Uncle Bob, her Uncle Aaron and of course her Daddy... like all little girls should have. I was really happy she enjoyed herself and wished I could have boogied with her... but the pictures speak a 1000 words and she is smiling in all of them. Oh well, there will always be next time for me right? Maybe by then I will have lost my baby weight and will feel 200% (as Hannah would say) to go and cut a rug with Seany.

Oops...one more

I found one more card I wanted to post as I am about to give it away this weekend. I have particularly loved this little card and am excited to share it with Sean's Uncle Bob...and that's it for this wee post or rather 'Bob's your Uncle' in this case... :)

Recent projects...

I wanted to share a few of the recent projects I have been working on. Hope you enjoy!

The set of beer glasses was for my awesome brother-in-law Aaron. Sean bought him a mini keg and I made the glasses for him. He just celebrated his 'champagne birthday'...30 on the 30th! The glasses are etched using Armour Etch, Versa Mark and embossing powder. An awesome project and I was really happy with the result. Can't wait to try more of this technique!

This card is for Sean's cousin Kathryn and her new husband Santiago who recently got married in Columbia. They are having a reception in Edmonton this weekend and we are all really excited to go visit some fantastic members of our family that we don't get to see nearly often enough...I used whisper white craft ink and the Stampin' Pastels for this card...it is much softer looking in real life but this gives you the idea. Arren was convinced I couldn't leave it as it was...but it grew on me and just to prove a point it is exactly as she saw it last! :)

This card is for a really special friend of ours, Marcy. Bar none she is my husband's best friend and I have been lucky enough to call her one of my best friends too! As a firm believer in the motto 'If it's nay Scottish, it's crrrrap!' this is a very appropriate birthday card for her! The background is stamped with the set perfect plaid in Red Riding Hood, Night of Navy and Very Vanilla. The greeting was done on the computer.

Lastly, I have been partnering with my awesomely talented husband to make wine. He has made three batches so far; Barolo, Merlot and Gewurztraminer. I have made the labels for each batch which has given us the chance to really personalize his creations! So much fun (to make and taste!!)

Thanks for looking!

On a lighter note...

I have been informed that I needed to add something a little on the lighter side. That being said I am ripping off my friend Kim's idea of 10 random things...so here you go; the 10 funniest things my kids have ever said...poor Kane doesn't get to be in on this list yet...


10 funniest things my kids have ever said

1.Meg-"Oh no! Nana forgot her money here!" (hands me a 20 dollar bill)
Me-"No Nana brought that for us. We bought her some stuff in Lethbridge, so that is our money."
Meg-"No Mom! It Is Nana's Money...look there is a grandma on it!" (points to the picture of the Queen. Love it.)

2.Hannah-"I'm the best, I'm the best...I'm the best!"(walking around after listening to some retro 80's music with Sean)
Me-"Whatcha singing, kiddo?"
Hannah-"That song Dad was just listening to..."(He was listening to Rock Me Amadeus by Falco)

3.Meg-"So Kane has a boy's bum, right?"
Me-"Yeah, he does."
Meg-"I have a girl's bum, right?"
Me-"Yeah, you do."
Meg-"Dad has a boy's bum?"
Me-"Yeah, he does."
Meg-"It's OK, I love him anyways..."

4.Sitting in Easter service...
Minister-"Isn't that amazing? Jesus is the only one to ever come back from the dead!"
Hannah-"No! Your wrong!"
Minister-"..."
Hannah-"Snow White came back when her prince kissed her!"

5.Meg-"Will I be big like you some day?"
Me-"Yup, some day you will be a grown up."
Meg-"Really?"
Me-"Yup, some day."
Meg-"How many days until I grow a star on my butt?"(In reference to my tattoo of a directional star on my lower back...)

6.Hannah-"What are you doing Mom?"
Me-"Weighing myself, this is a scale it tells me how much I weigh."
Hannah-"Whoa, that's a whole lot of Mom!"

7.Meg-"Can I have potatoes, please?"
Me-"Meg, you don't like potatoes..."
Meg-"Oh yeah, can I just have the butter and salt then?" (haven't we all been there)

8.Me-"What would you like to drink with your Cheerios?"
Hannah-"Ummm...Scotch maybe?"

9.Hannah-"But Mom, I needed a new look!" (At 6:30 a.m. after giving herself a haircut...she was three...took a few years for this to be funny)

10.Me-"Hannah, time for your nap."
Hannah-"Sorry, can't today."
Me-"You can't have a nap today?"
Hannah-"Nope, I have too much respect for playing."
Me-"..."

Gotta love them, cause we can't eat them!